"The World of Food"

Spring of 1995

Have you ever been hungry? I mean really famished, but you're not quite sure what it is you're craving? Like when you tell someone you're starved and they say, "Okay. Where do you want to eat?" and you immediately draw a complete blank? I hate that! Like, that drives me, ya know, like nuts; okay? Then one day it hit me, like an epiphany, (Schumacher's latest Buzz word) from above. What I crave is variety. What I desire is ethnicity. What I want is the Food Park at my local Mall!

Here it is, folks! The World of Food! And all in one place, too! At the Food Park, one can easily stroll around the world, nibbling a little bit from each culture as you go. You might want to try a little antipasto and a slice of pizza from Italy. Perhaps a tempting ham and cheese croissant from France or a savory Fajitas soft taco from our friends South of the Border. How about sampling some Hawaiian BBQ or the steam table Sushi? Not to mention those places that change owners so many times that they get a little culture confusion going and start to offer such items as "Pizzaritos" or "Teriyaki Souvloki"!

Yes, there's everything from "A Little Slice of Cuba" to "A Big Hunk of America", (a little "In" joke for my fellow "I Love Lucy" fans) at the Food Park. But, before you wander too far abroad, let's not forget those old American staples like, "Steak in a Sack" and "Hot Dog on a Stick", the latter of which offers a healthy alternative to their tube steak shish kebab known as "Cheese on a Stick" (the name, I believe, is self explanatory). You can wash that down with their fresh-squeezed (so that's what that girl in the corner with her back to us is doing!), lemonade or the low-calorie, sugar-free lemonade that consists, literally, of lemons squeezed into ice water and served sans-Sucre. Pucker up for that one, Baby! And while we're at it, what's with that uniform they make the "Hot Dog on a Stick" employees wear anyway? It looks like something Barbara Feldon wore on TV back in 1967. Maybe they should "Get Smart" and move into the '90s with something a little more stylish.

In addition to all the above, you also have a huge assortment of desserts to choose from. There are doughnuts and cookies and yogurts and ice creams that are dipped, rolled and sprinkled with anything your already laboring heart could desire. Can't decide? Try them all! After all, a walk around the world is surely enough exercise to burn off the paltry calories garnered by such reckless abandon.

But, truly the nicest thing of all about the Food Park is the wonderful integration of all the diverse cultures and nationalities. This is a place where patrons can come together in the communal dining area and sit side by side in gastronomic bliss, while the nations economically compete, quietly and peacefully, from behind their counters and in their kitchens. Wouldn't it be great if the world's leaders could experience this incredible achievement of harmony and tranquility and apply that to their own governments? Yes, we could all learn a little something from the friendly folks down at the local Food Park. If our snack foods can live together in peace, why can't we? That's food for thought.

"Back to the cupboard with 'ya now",

Dave Pruiksma